The Kappa

Now I know that the word 'Kappa' for a certain generation implies fluorescent green tracksuits nay shellsuits, high tight ponytails (the Essex facelift) and oversized gold hoop earrings. I had no idea of the secret other meaning of the word 'Kappa'.

Until now. My workmate James, who has a perfectly healthy interest in all things macabre, discovered the Kappa one random Saturday. It is a mythical water based sprite which the Japanese still to this day fear. It has a taste for children and will, if you let your kids too near waterways where there may be a mirage of a hair clip, get them with its scaly webbed hands. When I say taste, I mean they suck out the children's entrails through their anus. And apparently, the only thing that tastes better to a kappa, inexplicably, is cucumber. Yes, cucumber. You would think that it would at least be some alternative form of flesh but maybe I was just giving the Japanese too much credit towards sanity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kappa_%28folklore%29

God forbid there should ever be a rice blight...

Korea is dependent on rice the way that 19th century Ireland was on the potato. I'm not kidding. Just a walk around the supermarket and you will come across rice tea, rice noodles, rice cakes (of varying levels of disgusting glutinous-ness), cold unidentifiable rice drinks, brown rice beauty products, rice based shampoo and I could go on but it's mildly traumatising. I'm pretty sure that Samsung and LG are currently working on plans to build the world's first rice PC. Should some kind of unpredictable climate change render rice uneatable, Koreans would be pretty buggered.


Kevin and I are currently pretending to get ready for Cambodia. One thing that travelling around the world has taught me is that the best laid plans are open to odd changes (bus boot door falls off and bags are held down with bricks, errant llamas barricading roads, freak medical scares) so plans are sketchy at best. We land in Phnom Penh next Saturday night and apart from Siem Reap, the killing fields and Angkor Wat, we're pretty open. Certain people (such as a Mr Murray) have been actively encouraging us to go and shoot at cows with an AK47. Heck, I can't even use one of those guns with the harmless gunpowder SOUND let alone one which actually produces bullets.

Tomorrow night is a staff night out as we usher out the old and welcome in the new teachers. Welcomes in Korea involve vast amounts of soju and abandoning of all inhibitions so it should be a blast.

Please, more sweet potato in the crust!

Korea's culinary habits are not quite as bonkers as the Japanese - I shall never forget the apple and custard pizza - but when I bit into the crust of an innocent looking pizza recently and got a mouthful of powdery sweet potato as a filling I began to realise that if they can't beat them, they can most certainly join their ranks.

This weekend brings the annual Mud Festival in Boryeong. I blogged about this before, two years ago, and probably anticipated, well, lots of mud. I wasn't disappointed then and I expect that I shan't be this time either. A certain Ms Bond wants to see me mud wrestle my delightful co-worker Cheong but Cheong, despite only being three inches taller than an official midget, could probably batter me senseless then pitch me out of the arena* with one arm.

I spent a lovely weekend with Kevin and we finally did something touristy - we ascended Mt Namsan and the eponymous tower. The tower had been dramatically refurbished from when I last visited and it's now all shiny with details on the window saying how close / far away cities of the world are. Kevin and I were both perplexed to see that Paris is apparently further away from Seoul than London. My geography is piss poor but I calculate Paris to be more eastern than London. Am I right? Am I?

*inflatable giant paddling pool filled with mud.

My Classroom is Swiftly Becoming a Zoo

It all started with a tail-less mouse. Then one class brought in what they call 'frogs eggs' - small pieces of jelly that seemingly expand in water and remind me of tapioca, always a dreaded childhood dessert. And lastly, a student brought in her own tiny snail which her friend had given her, simply for being her friend. I guess as far rewards for being a friend go, that one's difficult to beat. The snail was in a tiny paper cup and it was much too keen to escape, knowing in all probability that its fate was not a hopeful one.

Whilst the children remain entertaining, my inability to catch up on sleep also persists. I spent the early hours of this morning battling with a giant she-mosquito. It's never truly satisfying to kill them in a bloody splatter because you end up staring in horror at a small pool of what is your own blood. Which you can never get back.

Kevin is coming up this weekend and we are hoping to see Transformers. I have been told that I am very uncool for having played with my Transformers in the bath as a child. And the following weekend in the annual Mud Festival at Daechon Beach. I remember my first, predominantly because of:

a) the mud
b) Cara mud-wrestling
c) continuing to find mud long after the weekend had passed.

I have also started a language exchange with a cool guy called Jae-ik. It's always fun but slightly demoralising as I get to teach him vocabulary such as 'high maintenance' and 'liposuction' whilst I linger in the less superior gene pool of 'I go' or 'I am Korrena'. I know, I never fail to impress.