The World is Clearly Orange
Ha - tomorrow is my first ever day of physical reckoning. God knows that I have ran plenty of Aussie cross country trails, jealously guarded by truculent teachers at various, unavoidable check points (so there was no chance of you slacking off, as many tried desperately to do.) I have also swam plenty, made occasional trips to the gym, only to stare slack jawed at people who spend twenty minutes on those fiendish stepping machines that make your thigh muscles feel as if they have been moulded out of burning carbon.
But tomorrow - tomorrow I get the chance to cancel out all my humiliations and my general non- athleticism when I and my fellow Tae-Kwon Doers will be trying out for our 'orange' belt (Note: it's actually a yellow belt but our self-styled Grand Master insists that it is orange, and that sounds a little bit better so why correct him?). We have a routine to go through, involving high and low blocks, snap kicks and organised stepping and it requires co-ordination, something which I didn't previously think I had. Unfortunately, as we are complete novices, we will have to perform for our belts with another group of amateurs - tiny children who have also just begun. Our moment of glory shall be tempered with a smattering of humiliation as the kiddums parents attempt (most probably unsuccessfully) to hide their sympathetic laughter. If I do actually get this, though, I shall get stunningly drunk tomorrow night.
This weekend also brings about another event that I am completely inexperienced with - Canada Day. Let's face it - why would I ever have chosen to celebrate Canada Day previous to this very moment? What would it have entailed on the Emerald Isle? Would we have made cardboard cutout beavers, drank dodgy imported beer, tried to disguise oak leaves as maple? However, on Sunday, I am attending a huge party at the UN compound celebrating the Mountie-d ones and there shall be much beer and aboots to keep me happy. I shall also probably witness the Canadian boyfriend in what is fairly close to his natural environment and hope that he shan't suddenly become passionate about the sticky political topic of Quebec's desired autonomy.
But tomorrow - tomorrow I get the chance to cancel out all my humiliations and my general non- athleticism when I and my fellow Tae-Kwon Doers will be trying out for our 'orange' belt (Note: it's actually a yellow belt but our self-styled Grand Master insists that it is orange, and that sounds a little bit better so why correct him?). We have a routine to go through, involving high and low blocks, snap kicks and organised stepping and it requires co-ordination, something which I didn't previously think I had. Unfortunately, as we are complete novices, we will have to perform for our belts with another group of amateurs - tiny children who have also just begun. Our moment of glory shall be tempered with a smattering of humiliation as the kiddums parents attempt (most probably unsuccessfully) to hide their sympathetic laughter. If I do actually get this, though, I shall get stunningly drunk tomorrow night.
This weekend also brings about another event that I am completely inexperienced with - Canada Day. Let's face it - why would I ever have chosen to celebrate Canada Day previous to this very moment? What would it have entailed on the Emerald Isle? Would we have made cardboard cutout beavers, drank dodgy imported beer, tried to disguise oak leaves as maple? However, on Sunday, I am attending a huge party at the UN compound celebrating the Mountie-d ones and there shall be much beer and aboots to keep me happy. I shall also probably witness the Canadian boyfriend in what is fairly close to his natural environment and hope that he shan't suddenly become passionate about the sticky political topic of Quebec's desired autonomy.
posted by Korrena at 12:08 AM
2 Comments:
Vivre le Quebec Libre!
Ha! You may indeed be francais but unfortunately I feel that you would have serious problems persuading actual French people of this...even the good people of Clones remained immune to your Gallic charm...!
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