Who Knew That Aussies Were Good At Football?

To be honest, I don't think that they were even aware of what a round ball was, apart from the small insanely hard one that they use for cricket. Socceroo fever is sweeping the country and it is affecting everyone, from hard core Aussie Rules fans to nine year old girls professing their undying love for Harry Kewell (understandably so). One such kiddums wrote into the SA newspaper saying that she wanted to be a 'singer, actress and entertainer like Sheree!'. Sheree, being of course, Harry Kewell's wife. In case you don't know, she is the dippy looking brunette who used to be in Emmerdale. It's good to see that a football team can inspire such lofty ambitions in the impressionable minds of the young.

Anyway, Australia are my World Cup team in the absence of Ireland. It has gotten so bad that I actually got up to see them play at 4:30 in the morning. It was worth it to see Graham 'Three Yellows' Poll referee a frenetic game much like a small demented squirrel would. Oh, and to see Australia qualify for the second round for the first time ever.

Whale watching tomorrow! Hurrah!

Brisbane is beckoning and with it, the prospect of slightly warmer temperatures. I am thinking longingly of my collection of scarves at home. Right now, I think I would wear them all simultaneously.

Recently, there has been more winery visits, mountain top lookouts, botanical gardens and - best of all - a shark museum. Apparently, some guy called Rodney Fox was mauled rather horribly by a Great White and has become a champion for shark rights ever since. The Rodney Fox Shark Experience was part educational, part cheesy fun. I accidentally bumped into a mounted fish head that began to sing an upbeat rock ditty. There was also a life sized model of Rodney with his impressive wounds (including his intestines) on display. When you think about it, he did the right thing. Waging war and revenge against an animal that has no concept of pity is about as useful as a pair of pantaloons. If only we could all be that magnanimous. I personally would have dedicated my life to breeding killer dolphins with a lethal tail slap.

Bittersweet (Snoring) Symphony

I love to start a blog with a good bitch but I will be restrained and instead talk about all the good things that have happened in the past week or so. I had a lovely birthday, thanks to a certain Canadian, who surprised me with friends and a lovely dinner. We went to the West Coast Eagles games and the Korrena Curse was finally broken. For some reason, since last year's grand final, whenever I have watched the Eagles, they have lost horribly. They finally won but not without scaring the tripe out of me first.

Then we flew to beautiful Broome, where we saw the Staircase to the Moon, cycled, sun bathed on a glorious beach, rode persnickety camels and sea kayaked, amongst other things. We didn't capsize which was shocking. The last time I kayaked was at Carlingford Lough and I had to be fished out more times than a Japanese whaler pulls out minke whales from bloody sea foam. That was a pretty horrible comparison, I apologise. Anyway, we saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever and narrowly missed out on seeing a dugong.

We also met some great people, including two very entertaining Aussies. You know you're travelling when you can mark off the list of people that you've met in a day like this:

Germans - 12
Irish - 15
English - infinite and breeding
Canadians - numerous and nasally
Australians - 1. Maybe. More if you watch Neighbours.

So it was nice to meet some locals. They were pretty bonkers and liked to 'sand surf' behind a fast moving 4WD. I also met a lovely Leicester girl called Odette and as she stood a lofty 6 foot tall, I was once again consigned to the position of Asian midget.

Anyway - my bitch. We spent four nights in a 10 person dorm room and this is trying enough as people are coming home and getting up at all kinds of hours. Nothing is less entertaining than a 'Jazzercise' ring tone alarm that persists for ages at 6 in the morning. But what is even less entertaining than that is snorers. Multiple snorers / general anti-social blokes. Odette was unfortunate enough to be caught in the room when one was 'relieving' himself. She had to pretend to sleep for an hour until she was sure she could sneak out. One snorer shouted out 'Oh yeah' in his sleep and it wasn't in a my-sports-team-is-winning-the-European-Cup kind of way. It had a more carnal element. I was on the bunk above.

For all that, hostels are fantastic places, even if you do hear more life stories than a criminal profiler would. I think the whole world and its pet parakeet has sky dived. Unfortunately, it's true that you're only going to meet the survivors.

Galah!

Despite years of horrible girlhood dreaming of going to an AFL match, I never actually made it to one as I lived about 400 kms from the nearest stadium during the timespan of my feverish interest. I just had to be content with screaming Glen Jakovich's name at the cruel medium of television. But I finally got the chance to go to a real live AFL game at Subiaco Oval on Saturday night. It truly was a joyous experience, even if it was the rivals of my beloved West Coast Eagles, the cursed Fremantle Dockers. For the uninitiated, Aussie Rules football is played on a oval pitch, the impetus is on trying to control an awkwardly shaped ball and it can be hilariously violent. There were two moments competing for hilarious moment of the night. The first was the Dockers mascot, which is some kind of rock/surf dude/Neighbours extra/terrifying monster hybrid. He sprinted around the pitch, trying to stir up support and instead invoking fear. This picture may give you some idea: http://www.animatica.com.au/CH_Fremantle_Dockers_Mascot.html.

The second moment was when a poorly performing player received some wrath from a nearby fan - 'Why aren't you defending?YOU'RE A BLOODY GALAH!'. My friend, who is a huge Dockers fan, actually winced and said 'That was a bit harsh!'. Only here in Australia could that be considered harsh. Other people would enjoy being compared to a handsome pink and grey parrot-like bird.

Freeman and I went to the Perth Food and Drink Expo where you basically got the opportunity to drink lots of boutique beers, Margaret River wine and eat endless amounts of bite sized samples. But the best bit was that THERE WAS A GREEN AND BLACKS CHOCOLATE STALL! And they were giving away free bars of the stuff. Mike and I befriended the staff and all the chocolate was there for the taking. Muh ha ha!

Next week we get to head to the beach paradise of Broome for a few days before heading to chilly Adelaide. Apparently Broome has some of the world's most beautiful beaches but it also has its own personal supply of salt water crocodiles. According to local legend, the crocs have a taste for the blood of German backpackers. Maybe if I baste Mike in meat oils, they might develop a taste for the odd Canadian. All that maple syrup has to sweeten them up somehow.